Not just negative thinking

Well this needs to be added to the previous post. Another thing has been happening that really brought my doubts from a smoldering coal to a burning flame. I have been in my quiet times been very unsettled about my lack of direction because as I read in 1 Cor 7 about how a man who is married is not just concerned about pleasing the Lord but also his wife. I have been praying that the Lord would help me see clearly what to do and to not let my passion for more junk or trust in myself be a factor in my decision making as well as giving me direction on where to go. The Lord has seemingly been with holding that peace to stay in the ministry. I know that if He wants me there He will provide, but I also know that He will lead me in the path he wants me to take. Removing that desire to continue and not allow it to flourish is very disconcerting to me as to the full time ministry being my goal.