Not just negative thinking

Well this needs to be added to the previous post. Another thing has been happening that really brought my doubts from a smoldering coal to a burning flame. I have been in my quiet times been very unsettled about my lack of direction because as I read in 1 Cor 7 about how a man who is married is not just concerned about pleasing the Lord but also his wife. I have been praying that the Lord would help me see clearly what to do and to not let my passion for more junk or trust in myself be a factor in my decision making as well as giving me direction on where to go. The Lord has seemingly been with holding that peace to stay in the ministry. I know that if He wants me there He will provide, but I also know that He will lead me in the path he wants me to take. Removing that desire to continue and not allow it to flourish is very disconcerting to me as to the full time ministry being my goal.

Rethinking my life

Well this is going to be a perety sobering post. I am rethinking my direction in life. I have for a while been very unsure how my desire to fit counseling into my life would work out. I have also been seriously shaken out of my life of dream land as a single guy. I have for a long time been thinking that I can go to any church and handle what ever they give me since I was a single guy. I also thought that a long time in seminary is not big deal because I am single. Well... I do not see full time ministry as a counselor going to work in my life. The reality of such a job in a church that would allow me to just do counseling is rather slim to none and to also do counseling on the side in an outside clinic would take more time, money and school. After already been in seminary 5 year (2 already and 3 to finish a MACC). I am not into taking a long time to do a bunch of classes that I feel is not very beneficial to me as a counselor which my seminary requires me to do. I also am thinking about how to feed my family... on a pastor's salary it will be very hard. I must be honest with myself and know that when I get out the churches that will want me will be small and pay little to nothing. I cannot feed my family on that. I am not willing to do that anymore. I know that if I start in a counseling practice outside the church it will be small and a bit of a hastle to say the least to get people to pay me. (And that is if the church will let me counsel on the side!) I am very happy with helping out in the counseling ministry that i am in now, all I need to do is be able to have my thursday nights free. I am thinking it is time to start looking for some other job out in the real world. I am beginning to ask some other folk that work in a more corporate business setting about other possibilities for myself. It would be fun to hear what you all think. -----Russ

The blogging begins

My friend Dave has been telling me to get a blog and start blogging for some time now and I have just put it off. But today I did not want to get going on my day so fast and slowed down and set up my blog. If anyone as a better name for my blog a suggestion would be greatly appreciated.